Dear Baby,

Monday, April 25, 2011

Papa and I took a trip to Oklahoma City with a few friends of ours on Saturday. Our first stop was the Oklahoma City Farmer's Market. We had originally wanted to go shopping for produce, but found a building full of Antiques nearby that we ended up spending hours looking through. I saw so many little trinkets, toys, and books that I wanted to buy for you. 

I did manage to snatch up ten vintage Little Golden Books for $1 each, which I got entirely too excited about. I've been scouting out Little Golden Books online for a few months and I've never found such a good deal! Papa and I both had quite a collection of them growing up, so we wanted to start one for you as well. I can't wait to watch you and your brothers and sisters read them over and over like I did when I was little. Your dad and I are always talking about how badly we hope to cultivate a love for reading and learning in you, and I'm sure having plenty of books around the house will help.

When your dad and I go somewhere new together, I always like to pick up a little something special to remember our adventure by. As I was browsing through the rows of glass cases full of dishes and little glass figurines, I spotted these two lovely little birds. They were the perfect shade of yellow and I fell in love immediately. I called your Papa over, and he agreed, they had to come home with us. So after talking a little old lady down by $12, they were ours for $40 - a bit much than I would normally spend, but they were perfect. The owner said she bought them herself in 1940, and they're Lenox brand glass, which is apparently what they serve meals on in the White House. They're sitting on our nightstand now, but I'm thinking they'll probably migrate into your nursery one day soon.

I also bought a vintage stamped leather belt buckle for only $5. I'm not even sure if I'm pregnant yet, so it will obviously be awhile until I find out your gender if you're in there, but I'm already holding onto a bit of hope that when the time comes, I'll hear those words I've been dreaming about for years, "It's a girl," only because I'm looking forward to sharing things like this with my daughter. I want to have someone to pass down my favorite vintage dresses and accessories to, someone to cook with, someone to shop with. I want your dad to be able to call us, 'my girls,' like my dad called my stepmom and I, just until your brothers and sisters join us. 

On the other hand, I saw the longing in your Papa's eyes for a son as he stared into a case full of old pocket knives and talked about starting a collection of them for 'his boys,' and I would love to give him that gift, a son. I eagerly anticipate seeing the joy in his face as we hear those words that I'm sure he's dreamt about hearing for years, "It's a boy!" I'm sure he'll want to buy you pocket knives and compasses, harmonicas and guitars. He'll want to take you on adventures in kayaks on rivers and lakes, in tents set up in our backyard and deep woods, and in your own set of cowboy boots, hiking the trails of locals parks and faraway mountains. 
Plus, I would get to call you two 'my boys,' which is just as adorable as, 'his girls.' Having a son would, no doubt, be just as exciting as having a daughter for me, but in a different way. 
Have no fear, I'll love you just the same, boy or girl.

We're still waiting for the right time to take a pregnancy test. I think I've decided to wait one more week. I almost have myself convinced that it's going to be negative because I don't feel pregnant, but from what I've been told, I shouldn't have any pregnancy symptoms until a few weeks from now. I'm still holding onto a bit of hope that you're growing strong in there, but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment again. I'm getting more anxious by the minute. Oh, how I can't wait for that day to come.

All the Love in the Universe,


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