It's official.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

We are 'trying to conceive.'

I stopped taking birth control in November, and my cycle has finally returned to normal, so it's just a waiting game from here on out.

Some people may think that it's a little premature for me to start a blog about a child that doesn't exist yet, but I believe in talking about your dreams like they're already coming true, and my biggest dream is to be a mother.

So I'm going to start writing to you, little baby, because I want you to know how much I loved you before you even existed.

I want you to know that my heart skips a beat every time I pass by the baby section in a store.

I want you to know that I've been searching for documentaries and books about pregnancy and childbirth, because I want to give you the very best beginning in this world.

I want you to know that I've been having dreams, vivid dreams, about holding you in my arms, and I hate that I have to wake up and continue with this waiting game.

I want you to know that your dad and I have been giving each other googly-eyes at the thought of you. He's just as excited about creating a soul together as I am. He's constantly pointing out pregnant women in public, touching my belly, and marveling at the fact that his child will be in there soon. When he sees a baby at the grocery store or hears the children next door laughing and playing outside, he smiles from ear to ear and gets this unforgettable liveliness in his eyes that I love.

It's a crazy thing that I suppose you'll understand when you're older (I can't believe I'm already saying that. I used to hate when my mom would say that to me.) - the feeling you get after waiting for something for an eternity, it seems like, then you wake up in the thick of it all and realize, "I'm here. I'm finally at this point in my life that I've dreamed about for so long."

We haven't told many people about our plans for our family yet. You'll learn when you get out here - everyone has an opinion, and we decided we didn't want to open the door for people to give us theirs just yet.

For now, we'll be waiting on and wishing for those two little pink lines to appear that will signal life as we know it ending and a new chapter beginning.

All the Love in the Universe,


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