36 weeks

Saturday, January 21, 2012


How did this happen?

How have you already been growing in my belly for 36 weeks? 9 months. 252 days.

You are our beginning, you know.

Since your Papa and I were young, maybe even too young to be worrying about families and babies and such, we've dreamt of you often. We've talked about the life we would create together, the memories we would make together, what we wanted our future family to look like, how many kids we might want, where we would like to raise you - and sometime in the next four to six weeks, all of that talk will form itself into the beginning of our family that we've waited so long for. You have always been a part of our relationship. You have always been a part of what the richest love possible meant to us. He and I have always been a family, even before our wedding day, but in the mere seconds surrounding your birth, this new chapter of our lives as family of three will have begun.

As I finish writing this, I'm actually 37 weeks along, which means I've gotten the green light. You can come into this world at any time now and you'd be considered full term. I sit here, trying to wrap my head around the possibility of meeting you this week or even in a mere three weeks, and will myself to find peace. We've already grown leaps and bounds together, you and I, so why not spend just a little while longer together?  We have both been a part of a miracle and in the process, have created a bond that no one will ever be able to take away. I know there is a plan and an exact moment that you are destined to enter this world, so I wait.

What a magical day that is going to be.

I've never experienced this feeling before and I'm quite certain the only other time I might is when I arrive at this familiar place again in a few years, as I'm getting ready to bring your brother(s) or sister(s) into this world. I know that the most beautiful, magical thing is going to happen without any definite answer as to when. Yes, we have a guess as to when you might be ready to meet us, but it isn't completely accurate - any given morning that I wake up may be that day. Every morning I pry my eyes open, stretch my swollen hands, and I think to myself, "I could meet my daughter today." I spend large amounts of time trying to imagine your face. I can't wait to see what you look like. The only thing that I can compare this sensation to is as a child, falling asleep hoping it would snow, then waking to see a bare ground and having to go to school.

You are our snow day - our break and joy in the monotony of life that we've been waiting for. Thank you for being our dream come true.

All the Love in the Universe,
Mama

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