Thursday, May 16, 2013

I stand in the back yard, sky open wide, annoyed by the dirt that has crept into the holes of my garden shoes, into the crevices of my toes, camera in hand. The grayness of winter is still apparent, but spring is coming. You can feel it. It isn't just in the blooms of fruit trees or the subtle sprigs of grass pushing their way through the remnants of last years green bounty that now lay dry. The cold, clean smell of winter is gone, replaced by a scent of life. The smell of dirt and sweat are with me as I pace the garden space, anticipating planting day. It is still too cold, but it is coming. On an unsteady card table inside, the sprouts are waiting for the last frost, waiting for the place their roots long for. The lamp that hovers over them will do, but sunlight is on the horizon, a bath of warmth is coming. Outside the birds begin to chirp, tentatively at first, but as the surety of Spring blossoms so does their confidence. As I look through the lens of my camera, I feel rejuvenated and hopeful. The spirits of love and life and fresh beginnings envelope me. It is subtle proof of life's promise of happiness. It is the universe's way of saying, 'No matter how long the winters may seem, spring always follows.'

On an indian summer day, the Apricot blooms, but quickly wilts away with the next cold front. Any hope of fruit that was not taken away with winter's return is quickly plucked from the branches and swept into the harsh desert wind. We were hoping for a bounty, enough to make jam, but nature had other plans. The apple trees follow suit just a few weeks later. Their branches creep towards the sky. Bees investigate each flower and fly from tree to tree. I've come to envy their simple ways. What I would give to have the simple life of solely adventuring and creating. We just returned from a taste of such a life - a 17 day road trip across the Southern United States, and it was life changing. I have a restored perspective on a lot of things and a greater desire to simplify my life and accomplish goals that have sat untouched for too long. It was good to be home, but after only two days 'real life' has already started to creep in again, washing away the novelty of vacation. Alex and I had a lot of time for thought and conversation during the long drives and nights spent around a campfire. We have a lot of big dreams and plans for the next few seasons of life. The first of those starts with a huge opportunity has presented itself to us, but I hesitate to share it. There is still a lot of room for disappointment and I would rather not attach words to my hope just yet.

Most of these dreams are unconventional, crazy even. I have always felt a little scattered. By that, I mean that I've always felt that I've wanted to accomplish too many different things in too many different places. None of them fall into the American dream standard that we've felt pressured to conform to for so long. I used to think that we needed to choose just one of these dreams, a stable one, but lately I've taken to telling myself that we can do them all one at a time. I call them 'seasons of life.' When one of us starts to dream out loud and that dream seems impossible right now, I remind myself of these seasons and it calms the storm. I've given a lot of thought to whether the lifestyle we desire is condusive to a healthy childhood. Alex and I are and will always be a couple of dreamers and adventurers and if we couldn't dream or adventure, we wouldn't be the healthy and happy people that we are. My hope is that if my child(ren) don't have an appreciation for our decisions, they will eventually at least realize it was better to live an abnormal life with passionate parents than a normal life with stressed and bitter ones. There are still a lot of details to be worked out, but I look forward to being able to share these ideas that we have here. When I have this many thoughts bouncing around in my head, they never seem complete until I've shared them here.


  1. Gorgeous photos! The colours are amazing and you describe spring so wonderfully!

  2. Beautiful photos! Lovely spring. It is almost winter here and getting cold now so these photos were refreshing.



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