Ten on Ten • May

Monday, May 12, 2014


I stumbled upon the ten on ten project a few months ago and the idea really resonated with me, but we were staying in D.C. and at that point in our lives every little thing was heavy and hard to manage. I read the words 'finding life and beauty in the ordinary things of our day to day' and thought yes, that's something I can get behind and participate in. There is so much noise on the internet these days and the world is so linked through blogs and news and Pinterest and Twitter (and whatever social media app I'm trying to ignore because when will it end?). I would love to be apart of spreading snippets of beauty into people's lives and bringing them joy. That's really what I want this space to be about everyday. That's really what I want my life to be about everyday. Technically this is ten on eleven, but I knew that I would want to document Mother's Day and I've been trying to live out our days a bit slower with less technology involved, so I didn't want to be behind the camera all day two days in a row.

It's been a little over a month since we moved here and I've just now begun to have the energy to attempt to get into a rhythm again. One of the funniest things about moving to a new place for me is that even if you worked hard to get there and you want to be there, it never 100% feels like home from the start. This is the closest I've ever been to feeling 100% at home right away, but it has still taken some effort and adjustments and we're still working on making this place feel like ours. Most days we still feel tourists just fumbling around the city. I'm convinced that there are certain days and moments and places that all add up to make a place home. It's like a cosmic jar of fireflies, but coffee shops and laughs and wanders through the park replace the fireflies and they all come together in layers to paint a picture that makes you say 'this is home to me and I never want to leave it.' I've been craving a day like that, a moment like that since we got here as a reassurance I guess. I'm not sure. I know we're supposed to be here. I spent the last five or more years of my life homesick for this place, a place I was never able to call home until now. I used to come and see those city moms with their city kids and I'd carry a longing home with me to someday raise a baby here, but I was sure it would never come to be. So I know it's home. I just need to collect a few more fireflies for that jar of mine.

We got a good start on that this weekend. Alex wandered down to the corner bodega (It's really just a grocery store, but I can't help but love that people call them bodegas here.) the night before and surprised me with a bouquet of flowers. He'd been gone for four days and if you know us, you know we don't fare well apart so when I questioned him about the flowers he responded 'I had to come home with flowers. It felt like I was coming home from a deployment!.' I opened the door as Ev rounded the corner at a marathon pace squealing with uncontainable joy. Papa was on one knee to scoop his girl up and she spotted those flowers and pulled them right out of his arms - 'FWOWAHS! Oh, dank you, Papa! Dank you.' and she sniffed and sniffed them. For as long as I've known him, I've told him not to buy me flowers. There's something morbid about watching something so beautiful die a quicker death than if you just left them in the ground where they belong. I'm warming up to the idea as the years pass though. Among many other reasons, that's how I knew he was a keeper - I told him not to buy me flowers and he did anyway because what kind of woman doesn't like fresh flowers? He always manages to pick the ones that really do look like me.

So I woke up to these flowers on Sunday morning and smiled. I appreciated them the only way I know how - with a camera in my hand and the morning light streaming through the windows. We cooked a banana pancake breakfast, packed a picnic, and caught the train up to Park Slope for church. Ev was proud to present a Peony to me after church and this may sound ridiculous, but it was absolutely the most perfect flower I've ever held in my hands. I never knew it, but it seems Peonies are my favorite flower. We walked a few blocks to Prospect Park and staked our claim on a patch of shade with adequate grass. Picnic spot picking is always a big production for this family. The weather was flawless. We finished our picnic and put Ev down for a nap. We sat in the grass next to her and we both exhaled for the first time in weeks. We talked like we haven't talked in months and sat in silence like we haven't sat in silence in months with the sounds of a guitar playing nearby. Ev woke up and we all wandered and took pictures and wandered some more until our feet were blistered and our legs were aching. It was a heart filling, soul nourishing kind of day.

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3 comments:

  1. Beautiful photos and words! And I agree with you, peonies just might be the most perfect flower ever. If only they grew up here!

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  2. Hey, this is great! I'm glad you joined up with ten on ten, and I'm glad I did too. I love making connections with other lovely people on in this big wild world.
    I totally related to what you wrote about moving. It does take a lot of effort to feel settled in your new place, even if that place totally fits you. I say about six months to feel normal, and about 18 to feel home. Anyway, thanks for the lovely comment. I'll be checking back in here. Your blog looks beautiful.

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  3. Beautiful! This is my first month joining in, and I'm loving seeing what everyone else has done :)

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